The ink drawing—which was a doodle—took no more than 30 minutes. I didn’t think this piece would change my outlook on being a fine artist. “I suffer for my art”, some well-known artist said and I scoffed at the expression. Really!? It turns out this piece took over 1600 hours to paint in Adobe Photoshop. Often I would work 12 – 14 hours non-stop, many days in a row. I was a hermit in my garage, often barely holding my eyes open, painting each leaf. And yes, I did try several different “shortcuts” like cloning but I found that I would then spend 15 – 20 minutes adjusting the size, the color, and the gradation. This is a major pitfall of digital painting. We do it because we can. We noodle paintings to our death because it never dries out, never gets muddy, and when blown up mega% larger than the naked eye could ever detect, we see flaws.

When it was finished, I hated it and put it out of my mind for months. My body ached from contortion; my head ached from lack of sleep; and if it were stretched canvas, I would have stomped on it and burned it.

Over a year later, I was looking for pieces to show a jury to get accepted to a gallery and I came across The Yellow Tree. It was so bright and pretty. It would be a crowd pleaser. Who doesn’t like a Burton-esque tree? I renamed it Deception of Pretty Things after ballet where you see such lovely beautiful dancing and air athleticism not knowing the pain of the body and the destruction of the feet and toes beneath the silk slippers.

It still gives me anxiety to view it. It has become one of my most monetized creations. But it will take quiet some time to feel it was worth it.

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